EPSILON

The Editor's Office The Cubbyhole, No. 1, Chatfield Towers ROCKALL North Atlantic NA17 2PJ

Well, winter has come again to beautiful bracing Rockall, and the last tourists, ornithologists and marine biologists have departed these hospitable shores except for one or two who suffered most regrettable accidents for which no-one is more sorry than myself on the lethal razor-sharp rock faces and treacherous killer whale infested waters. Now all is peaceful once again except for the wind screaming over the stern battlements of Chatfield Towers, home of Epsilon (the magazine of international opinion) and the crash of the mighty breakers far below. My office presents a scene of cosy domesticity at the moment, with M. Thegarthanoth (office cat) curled up in front of the roaring driftwood and guano fire and myself lounging in an armchair with a glass of the finest vintage Tizer and the latest copy of the Rockall and Continental Shelf Intelligencier close at hand. Outside the double glazed reinforced armoured glass picture window I have a superb view of the kittiwakes being blown off the rocks by the Force 9 gale, and further out to sea one may observe the huge Japanese freighter Ahso Maru battering her way through the tempestuous seas, thousands of Sony amplifiers lashed to her decks. At the moment the matelots of Nippon are busy throwing lifebuoys to the members of the Lurkers in Unsavoury Sheds Society, whose vessel foundered after striking an old World War I laser-guided magnetic mine as they were on their way to deliver a writ of libel to Chatfield Towers. Sipping my tankard of Tizer (1927 - a good year), I observe this happy scene as M. Thegarthanoth (office cat) wakes up and quietly dematerialises.

Yours,

Disjt Dibugjfme

Editor, Epsilon

(the magazine of international opinion)